Being able to say no to people can be difficult for several reasons, and it often varies from person to person, hence we spoke to The Joy of Saying No author Natalie Lue to get some advice. Some of the common reasons why saying no can be challenging include:

1. Fear of rejection.
2. Desire to be liked or accepted.
3. Difficulty with setting boundaries.
4. Obligation or sense of duty.
5. Lack of assertiveness skills.
6. Emotional manipulation.
7. Fear of conflict.
8. Desire to avoid disappointment.
9. Lack of practice.

Read: Can you say no and are you assertive?

Overcoming the difficulty of saying no involves building assertiveness skills, setting healthy boundaries, and recognising that it is acceptable to prioritise one’s own needs and well-being without feeling guilty. Learning to say no respectfully and confidently can lead to healthier relationships and a more balanced life.

So how do we say no to people?

Thanks to the following author for participating:

Natalie Lue is the author of the hugely popular relationship and self-esteem blog, Baggage Reclaim along with five books, including Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. She also hosts The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, which has over 3 million downloads. For nearly two decades, she’s shared the journey of her transition from toxic relationships to love, care, trust and respect. Her work has been mentioned and featured in the likes of The New York Times, Washington Post, NPR, BBC, The Sunday Times Magazine, and USA Today. We’re talking about her new book The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want.

Other wonderful guests who took part:

Amanda Craven, an accredited and licensed clinical hypnotherapist, life coach, psychologist and author based in the UK with a global client base.

Dr Lisa Turner, trauma expert and founder of CETfreedom.

Daniela Wolfe, founder and CEO at Best D Life – Helping You Find the Bliss in Your Busy.

Dr Lienna Wilson, a clinical psychologist with a practice in Princeton New Jersey.

Transformative coach Myra Mchale.

Parenting teenagers expert and psychologist Angela Karanja.

John Pabon, a sustainability author, consultant and speaker

Laura Tremaine, who is the host of the 10 Things To Tell You podcast and author of The Life Council.

Here are some of the resources from the show:

Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 13 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Nedra has been featured recently in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts. She runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As.

Books looked at this week:

Natalie Lue: The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

Nedra Glover Tawwab: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

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Transcription