People who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one or any kind of grief, often struggle to process this new reality, as “Totally Fine” author Tiffany Philippou explained to us. They might occasionally lapse into forgetting that their loved one is no longer present or actively involved in their lives. Such experiences are indicative of the denial phase in the grieving process, a common and natural stage as one navigates through their journey of bereavement. And it can become heightened during the holiday period.

Listen to: Why can’t we talk about grief? – with One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days author Giles Paley-Phillips

Dealing with grief and stopping the denial of it involves several steps, each crucial for emotional healing and acceptance:

1. Acknowledgment
2. Express emotions
3. Seek support
4. Self-care
5. Remembering and memorialising
6. Patience with the process
7. Professional help
8. Creating a new normal.

Remember, grieving is a deeply personal process, and what works for one person may not work for another. Be kind to yourself and allow the process to unfold in its own time.

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Trigger warning: This episode contains themes related to suicide.

So how do we process grief?

Thanks to the following author for participating:

Tiffany Philippou is a writer and podcaster and her writing has been published in Stylist, Refinery29, Sifted, The i Paper and The Startup. She co-hosts the work, life and happiness podcast “Is This Working?” and it’s been described by The Guardian as ‘increasingly vital.’ The podcast is a number one show in the UK Apple careers charts and is frequently in the top three in the business charts. Philippou also writes a weekly newsletter, about love, loss, finding meaning and some of the messier sides of life called The Tiff Weekly. She previously spent over ten years working in leadership roles in startups, and in addition to her work as a writer and podcaster, Philippou works as a consultant and recruiter for startups. We talked about her book “Totally Fine (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself): What My Decade in Grief Taught Me About Life.”

Other wonderful guests who took part:

Mary Lamia, Ph.D., is a Psychology Today grief columnist teaching at college level and also in private practice. She is also the author of “Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over.”

Here are some of the resources from the show:

Kelly Writers House Fellow, the late Joan Didion, read and discussed this passage from “The Year of Magical Thinking” in an interview hosted by Al Filreis at the Kelly Writers House on March 31st, 2010. She talks about her attempt to process grief after the death of her husband and her daughter’s serious illness.

Books looked at this week:

Tiffany Philippou: Totally Fine (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself): What My Decade in Grief Taught Me About Life

Joan Didion: The Year of Magical Thinking

If you or anyone you know needs to speak to someone, you can phone the Samaritans in the UK at 116 123. For more information, visit the Samaritans website at www.samaritans.org. If you’re in the US, The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is leading a movement against suicide. You can find the website at www.thecalmzone.net.

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Transcription